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Annie and Stephanie

San Diego's leading Dating & Relationship Coaches, Annie Ory and Stephanie West "Dinner and a Book" Tuesday, May 10th, 7pm at Parallel 33 on the corner of Falcon & Washington Streets in Mission Hills. Treat yourself to dinner and we will bring our expertise at no additional charge to you! This months book is: Passionate Marriage, by David Schnarch, Ph.D. There is limited seating at this educational and fun evening. Call now to reserve yours! RSVP to annie@mappinglove.com or 619.823.5478. (This event takes place on the 2nd Tuesday of every month.)

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Mapping Love specializes in providing effective tools for making love last.

IN THIS ISSUE:
Question sent to us - applies to married and single people.

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Question ) I am dating a woman I think is 'The One' and I am very excited about her. We are both still open to seeing other people. We have not been intimate, her choice. I like that she is a woman with values and I like that when the time comes I will feel special knowing I am the only one. When we discussed having sex she said she does not know when she will be ready but that she knows it will be after we have both committed to not seeing others. I fear that we will fall in love, get really close and connected and then not be able to satisfy each other sexually. That one of us will not be able to please the other. Then, if we end it, it will be more painful. I believe we should have sex now so that if we are not compatible we can end it before either of us gets too attached. What do you think?

Response ) If you are in love with someone and you are committed to their spiritual, emotional and physical growth and well-being you will find a way to a joyful sexual union with that person.

The purpose of sex in a marriage is intimacy. Men can have erections and women can give themselves orgasms without getting married, even without anyone else in the room. What we can't do alone is to reach for the heart and soul of another person using every tool we have. Our bodies (all the parts). Our minds. Our very beings. Connected to our partner.

The process of finding our sweet spot with our partner sexually is the process of growing together in love and intimacy in a marriage. If you can't find your way there, you can't find your way in other areas either.

This may surprise you: ninety seven percent of married couples are incompatible in terms of the frequency of sexual desire. In over seventy percent of those couples the woman wants sex more often than the man.

Do this one thing and you will find your purpose for being on the planet. Imagine for a moment that it is 'magic' or that it 'just happens' or write sexual connection off to hormones or chemistry and you deny the difference between humans and animals. It isn't something that just 'happens.' It is something you DO.

The book review we'll do this month, Dr. Snarch's Passionate Marriage, discusses just this issue. Please come and listen. I think you'll learn things that will amaze and surprise you about sex, intimacy, passion and marriage.

Annie~

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