Dated for a year; now just wants friendship

Dear Sam,

Should I keep trying to keep this man in my life or not? We went out for a year (he lives three hours away) but now he just wants to be friends.  I don’t want to lose him though.  What to do?

Holding On


Dear Holding On,

It sounds as though you already have lost him romantically.  He might have had an issue with you living so far apart.  I don’t know.  But from what you have told me he has told you he only wants to be friends.  So I say, gently, understanding that it is difficult when we care for someone deeply to let go, but…let go.

You deserve to be with a man who adores you, and wants to be your guy.  If you don’t want to lose his friendship, and truly feel you want him to remain in your life at that level, allow yourself the space and time to get over him romantically.  It will be nearly impossible and extremely painful to be friends with him while you still have feelings for him.

Best regards,




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