Topic: Advice

Dated for a year; now just wants friendship

Dated for a year; now just wants friendship

Dear Sam,

Should I keep trying to keep this man in my life or not? We went out for a year (he lives three hours away) but now he just wants to be friends.  I don’t want to lose him though.  What to do?

Holding On

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Dear Holding On,

It sounds as though you already have lost him romantically.  He might have had an issue with you living so far apart.  I don’t know.  But from what you have told me he has told you he only wants to be friends.  So I say, gently, understanding that it is difficult when we care for someone deeply to let go, but…let go.

You deserve to be with a man who adores you, and wants to be your guy.  If you don’t want to lose his friendship, and truly feel you want him to remain in your life at that level, allow yourself the space and time to get […]

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Perfect date, then he bails

Perfect date, then he bails

Dear Sam,

I’ve a dilemma:  I went on date two weeks ago with an old school friend and it was perfect.  Since then I’ve had the odd text-one which said he’s going through emotional stuff (he is divorced with two children).  I felt astrally connected to him and thought we felt comfortable with each other.  I really don’t know what to do now.

Star Crossed

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Dear Star Crossed,

Thanks for reaching out.  The text you received makes his intentions very clear.  (His behavior leaves much to be desired, as sending a text is not a very gracious way of communicating sensitive information).  This man is not ready for a relationship and it’s a good thing that he has said so.  Be careful of idealizing him based on preconceived notions of being “astrally connected.”  These kinds of fantasies can prevent us from seeing the man for who he truly is, instead of how we wish he would be.   Perhaps […]

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