More By: David Steele

10 Dirty Little Secrets About Happiness

10 Dirty Little Secrets About Happiness

My observation is that we want to be happy, but don’t know how.

This problem has been exacerbated by the messages in movies, television, and other influential media, that promote a consumer-oriented, immediate gratification society. We seem to feel entitled to be able to buy and get what we want with little effort on our part. We have been conditioned that happiness comes from the outside, by having enough money, the car we want, the job we want, the partner we want. Then, when we get what we want, we find that we aren’t happy!

Our relationships are not working because of this externalized, entitlement mindset. If we aren’t happy, it is our partner’s fault and the relationship isn’t working for us. I believe this is part of the reason for our divorce rate.

These dirty secrets of happiness are quite contrary to the messages found in the entertainment media, and I refer […]

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You’re Single for a Reason

You’re Single for a Reason

My observation is that we want to be happy, but don’t know how.

This problem has been exacerbated by the messages in movies, television, and other influential media, that promote a consumer-oriented, immediate gratification society. We seem to feel entitled to be able to buy and get what we want with little effort on our part. We have been conditioned that happiness comes from the outside, by having enough money, the car we want, the job we want, the partner we want. Then, when we get what we want, we find that we aren’t happy!

Our relationships are not working because of this externalized, entitlement mindset. If we aren’t happy, it is our partner’s fault and the relationship isn’t working for us. I believe this is part of the reason for our divorce rate.

These dirty secrets of happiness are quite contrary to the messages found in the entertainment media, and I refer […]

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The Most Important Relationship Skill

The Most Important Relationship Skill

The single most important relationship skill is not communication, it’s taking ownership.

Successful relationships require taking ownership of your “experience.”

WHAT IS YOUR “EXPERIENCE?”

Your “experience” is what happens inside your body and your mind in response to events. It is composed of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations.

Your experience is involuntary, it just “happens.” It’s neither good or bad or right or wrong. Your experience is always OK and valid.

YOUR THOUGHTS

We spend a lot of time in our head listening to our thoughts. Sometimes thoughts just pop into our consciousness automatically, and sometimes we direct our thoughts with intentionality to solve a problem, express ourselves, make a decision, etc.

And some of our thoughts are judgments. A “judgment” is making a meaning or interpretation in response to an event (right, wrong, good, bad, theory, explanation, reasoning, logic, etc).

FACTS VS. JUDGMENTS

You and a friend go for a walk. You say “It’s a beautiful day.”

Your […]

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Rules for Effective Communication

Rules for Effective Communication

Nobody likes conflict, yet the most innocent words or actions can result in an argument, even with the best of intentions. Don’t wait for your next argument- read this article now to learn nine “Rules of the Road” for effective communication and conflict resolution in any relationship that are key to avoiding hitting “The Wall” which results in arguments and conflict.

THE RULES OF THE ROAD

In any communication there is a sender and a receiver. The risk of conflict is highest when the sender is experiencing an issue of some kind and needs to communicate about it. Before any effective communication starts, especially around an issue, it’s important to understand these ground rules.

1. ISSUES ARE UNMET NEEDS

In my thinking, a problem or an issue in a relationship is about an unmet need. If it weren’t a need, it wouldn’t be an issue.

2. ALL ISSUES ARE VALID

If we assume this then we […]

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Top 5 Ways to Find Love Offline

Top 5 Ways to Find Love Offline

Are you frustrated with internet dating? In a new trend, singles are becoming increasingly disillusioned with internet dating and seeking alternatives. With millions of singles using the internet and the promises and success stories of online matchmaking websites, I’ve heard the same thing over and over from singles across the country who are frustrated with internet dating-

“It’s great to have a lot of choices, but it takes a lot of time and I don’t seem to meet anyone I have much chemistry with.”

This trend makes sense to me. In some ways, using a computer to find your soul mate is like trying to cook a souffle in a microwave. Some things just require time, effort, and the human touch.

This article will explore the upsides and downsides of internet dating, attempt to explain why internet dating doesn’t work for some (most?) singles, and suggest some alternatives.

Top Five Advantages of Internet Dating

1. […]

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Why You Need a Relationship Coach

Why You Need a Relationship Coach

The coaching relationship is unique and powerful, and really can help you find fulfillment in your life and relationships. Below are some important reasons to use a Relationship Coach, any ONE of which is compelling enough to get your very own coach TODAY.

YOU VALUE RELATIONSHIPS HIGHLY You prioritize building fulfilling personal and professional relationships. You realize that your success and quality of life is directly connected to the quality of your relationships.
YOU ARE COMMITTED TO SUCCESS You are serious and intentional about having a fulfilling life partnership, family, business, and community.
YOU WANT RESULTS Working with a coach can move you farther and faster than you can on your own.
YOU ARE WILLING TO LEARN You realize that you don’t know what you don’t know, and your future success may depend upon access to new relationships skills and knowledge.
YOU ARE READY FOR ACTION Using a coach can be the most effective means of translating knowledge into practice. […]

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